Due to an ongoing dispute between the Foundation and an opposing party, these Special Containment Procedures are legally unenforceable.
ICSUT Patent Document No. B-337
Item #: SCP-9905
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: The exact step-by-step process in performing SCP-9905 is highly classified, and accessible only to authorised members of Dr. Robert Scranton's SRA Group.
The thaumaturgic signature of SCP-9905 is to be patented and recognised by the International Center for the Study of Unified Thaumatology as the intellectual property of the Foundation. Any attempts to recreate SCP-9905 by a non-Foundation party must be reported to the ICSUT Intellectual Protection Office, whereupon cease and desist orders or subpoenas may be issued as necessary.
In order to avoid the ICSUT’s mystic judicial system, SCP-9905 is also to be protected by Foundation-constructed anti-memetic seals.
Description: SCP-9905 is the Foundation designation for Thaumaturgical Ritual Catena-337, a type-B thaumaturgical working that is instrumental in the creation of Scranton Reality Anchors (SRAs). The ritual is performed at the end of the SRA construction process, used to catalyse and pacify the internal bio-chemical mechanisms of the device, responsible for stimulating electrochemical activity.
The process requires the following items to perform:
- One practitioner of thaumaturgy with a diploma in Applied Necromancy, or adjacent fields.
- A fully-built Scranton Reality Anchor with a healthy central neuro-substrate.
- 150 75 grams of Compound 9905-13.
- A felt-tip permanent marker.
SCP-9905 currently has an 87% 79% success rate, whereupon the SRA is fully primed and ready for use, indicated by a constant signature hum. Should the procedure fail, the Scranton Reality Anchor’s neuro-substrate will quickly decompose, requiring a replacement unit, as well as additional injections of Compound 9905-13.
Compound 9905-13 refers to a reagent with the highest potential substrate viability used during SRA actuation. This compound acts as the primary starting point to the SRA's internal systems following thaumaturgic catalysis, and as such is highly vital to the SCP-9905 process. The Foundation's current primary source of Compound 9905-13 remains limited to [REDACTED].
History: SCP-9905 was initially created by the SRA Group as a solution to a common issue during the SRA construction process at the time. Prior to the standard application of SCP-9905, Scranton Reality Anchors commonly malfunctioned due to an electrophysiological overload in the central neuro-substrate's stimuli-regulators during initial actuation.
In 01/06/1988, ex-Prometheus Labs employee, Dr. Preston Sturdivant, proposed a method of thaumaturgic pacification which was eventually further developed into SCP-9905.
Dr. Preston Sturdivant (1982)
Objective Reality Independent persons have, in recent years, proven to be valuable assets in our work towards achieving an ontologically stable world. Despite their commonly disruptive nature inherent to their existence, our newest innovations have successfully re-utilised this resource to quell the very threat they themselves pose. The ontokineticism displayed by an ORI typically comes from the imaginative centers of their minds. It is possible to control this through our science and technology, to stimulate the wonders of a shackled mind, something we have achieved with the Scranton Reality Anchor program.
However, a very human problem remains in the SRA's design. Occasionally, there is a chance that the central neural operator of a Scranton Reality Anchor "realises" its own condition. Neurological activity spikes and jitters, indicating an inhumane amount of distress, as it awakes without stimuli in a cage of beryllium-bronze alloy. While that is all very interesting and begs for additional inquiry, this response is suboptimal for our intended purposes.
For the reasons stated above, I propose a different approach to anchor actuation — A procedure to cease their minds, and seize control.
- Dr. Preston Sturdivant, Foundation SRA Group
Addendum 9905-1: The following is an e-mail sent out to the SRA Group dated 20/01/1991.
To: ten.spuorgpics|ars#ten.spuorgpics|ars
From: ten.pics|mahnraf.d#ten.pics|mahnraf.d
Subject: Supply
Dear Scranton and company,
Our partners in the Global Occult Coalition have gotten back to us regarding the supply issue of materials for the reality anchor program. Suffice it to say, the delays will not be improving anytime soon.
While that is unfortunate to hear, I trust that the team will not struggle with using existing inventory for the time being, as long as some values are lowered accordingly.
Should there be any updates from our side, I will inform you all as soon as I can.
Regards,
D. Farnham
Addendum 9905-2: The following audio transcript is of a voice message left on Doctor Farnham's answering machine shortly prior to the e-mail in the previous addendum.
The caller is identified as "Leslie Tannenbaum", the Global Occult Coalition agent in charge of a Type Green processing plant in Denver, Texas.
The transcript is written verbatim, and includes formatted sections spoken away from the receiver, presumed to be directed towards a third party.
Caller ID: Tannenbaum
Origin Point: Denver, Texas
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
Hello Mr. Farnham,
This is Secretary Leslie Tannenbaum. I'd like to thank you for that e-mail you sent me, and give you my response to it. We’ve… been struggling a lot with logistical issues here in the processing center, so it speaks a lot to your uh, character, as a man of sympathy, that you ask me again about these delays. That's really kind of you, bless your heart.
I appreciate your go-getter attitude and best wishes toward our… predicament. So instead of dodging the question like I did the last 7 times you’ve asked me, let me put it this way, Mr. Doctor Farnham.
Do you realize— No, do you understand the exact scope of what I have to deal with here, Doctor? Do you know what the whole rest of the uh, Coalition needs to handle? That’s a genuine question for you, because I don’t even know!
(A door can be heard opening in the background.)
Just a second, I'm on the phone. Tell him he can wait.
(The door shuts.)
Where was I? Oh— You come to me via e-mail 6 to 8 times a week — probably would be more if I didn’t intentionally delay my responses — asking me “Hey, Mr. Tannenbaum. How’s the shipment of reality bender paste coming along? Our Foundation needs those special corpses for our special corpse machines, and we’re quickly running out of them, so please send us more.” I don’t mean to be abrasive, Doctor. Not toward you, at least. So I’ll give you a bit of my uh, personal perspective.
Now, I need no convincing to be sure that your Foundation’s projects are important and high-priority given the circumstances, but frankly you need to get in line, Mr. Farnham. Despite my deceptively illustrious little title of Operations Manager, I’m just a one-man show here in Green Processing. And you just so happen to not be the only one badgering me about dead reality benders. So between your e-mails and the e-mails I get from the fucking necro-death cult of the day, I have quite a lot on my day-to-day plate, managing a post-extermination mulch warehouse as you may expect. There's a mountain of Type Greens, or Reality Benders, or Ontokinetics, or whatever we're calling them today. I heard someone say "Objective Reality Independent Person" the other day, and I thought that was stupid as all hell.
(The door opens again, faster this time, followed by footsteps.)
Hey! Did you not see the do not fucking disturb sign outside the door?
Yeah, try not to trip on the line of clerks on your way out, dickhead.
(The door slams shut.)
Sorry about that.
(He coughs.)
You know, when Ichabod was first initiated, everyone was really excited about it. Everyone was all “Ichabod this” and “Ichabod that”, but nobody ever stopped to think “Hey, what are we going to DO with all those corpses scattered across the globe?” Well, take a guess on who gets to solve that little conundrum… Now listen, I can't get into the gritty details of the circumstances of our current predicament, but we just haven't yet found that balanced supply-demand equilibrium. Hell, we're still sending out clean-up crews on the daily, trying to scrape up every goddamn last piece of Type Green viscera off the streets.
Everyone praises D.C. al Fine for reducing the number of reality benders by uh… 75%, but the thing with corpses is that they don’t just vanish into thin air, as you may already know. No, they need to be picked up and dragged out of the third-world shithole we found them in. Although they’re dead, that doesn’t stop some of them from grossly turning their surroundings inside out and crashing the local hume level. Then, that 75% ends up in my hands, if we can get all 75%, God willing. And we need to store them properly, or else the floor tiles turn into fucking landmines. Something similar happened once and— damn, that just about got me killed. [Unintelligible] I could've died a terrible death right there and then. That's not something that you can just forget. You understand?
You piss off enough of the top brass, and you get shoved down to the lowest rung of society. One second you're joking around with co-workers, and then you're suddenly relegated to the corpse grinder brigade, and it's— I gotta— Listen. Just the other day our "Waste Coordinators" arrived to pick up a few tubs of hair. Yeah, bet you didn't know that, did you? We need to shave these bodies clean before putting them through the equipment, lest everything from the belts to the final substrate gets… gunked up with human hair. We can't just go burning it; no idea what consequences burning it en masse would have, environmentally or ontologically. Not to mention the stench that would cause. And I don't fucking know what they DO— those Waste Coordinators, the ones who pick up the hair— I don't know what the hell they DO with GALLONS of hair. They're not even part of the core GOC, outsourced from some secret society at the bottom rung of the 108. Once a week they come, pack everything up, and leave. Probably to do some nasty voodoo shit, Doctor.
(The door can be heard creaking open, slowly.)
Oh my G— WHAT IS IT?
No, I told you already. It's written on the wall! Drain them first, THEN throw them in the machine.
You did it the other way around. For the entire batch— Blood everywhere? Right.
Get the fuck out of my office.
(The door shuts.)
(Short pause.)
When I say I’m working on it, Mr. Farnham, I uh, genuinely mean that I’m working on it, cross my heart. I’ve been working at this even through a couple of… personal tragedies I’ve had the misfortune of happening upon. My best friend’s been killed by a reality bender, my dogs died, and the amount of time I spend at work has been eating away at my marriage. You know, my old man told me— he tried talking me out of joining the Coalition— he told me “Leslie, son… You best turn around and find yourself something to do in the normal world. If you really must live with the paranormal, then go and travel, read some books. Over here it’s just death cults and paperwork.” And it turns out he was mostly right. I should’ve listened to him. I should’ve picked up Way travelling, gone to the Wanderer’s Library. They don't let me in now, you know? They have these pictures of every member of the GOC on this like, banned customers list the size of Taj Mahal; Or at least, that was all I could see. Pretty sure some of you are on it as well…
But it’s not all bad, right? It ain't my fault that a shipment I sent out gets attacked on the way by some cannibal death cult or para-capitalist giant, and neither is it yours. You and I are doing the best we could, I think. There are worse jobs to be in. At least we’re not scraping boiled people meat off the pavement like Secretary Lepelletier is stuck with. Look, between you and me, Mr. Farnham, man, I take you as a pragmatic and— and reasonable person. I'm not crazy, and you're not crazy, at least I don't think so. But It behooves me to admit, everyone else here is. You've got people— fucking mulching cadavers into paste, canning it up like corned beef. Some of the people here, I swear, they strike me as… as being possessed by the Antichrist. And well— Fuck, I don't like that kind of disposition in people.
(The squeak of an office chair leaning back is briefly audible.)
God, I should’ve— should’ve listened to my old man. I should've listened to him.
But anyway, you know— Doctor, I won’t take much more of your time. There’s plenty of massacre victims and… paperwork I need to get back to. I know how important these materials are for your projects, so don’t go thinking I don’t know that. Once we work through our backlog, and sort out the distribution problems, you’ll get your dead Greens faster than you can say… “Itchy Itchy Ichabod”.
Alright, bye now. Hope you— Hope you have a good rest of your day.
Bye now.
(A knock can be heard, then the door opens slowly.)
This better be important.
Sorry, who's at the door?
"Prometheus"? Like the god?
[END TRANSCRIPT]
Addendum 9905-3: As of 21/01/1991, all Scranton Reality Anchor production with the use of SCP-9905 is to be halted until a resolution is made in the civil dispute between the Foundation and Prometheus Labs. Attached is a cease and desist letter addressed from Prometheus Labs’ paralegal team to the Foundation.
....................................................................................................
NOTICE TO CEASE AND DESIST
Dear The SCP Foundation
It has been determined that you are currently using A PATENTED THAUMATURGIC WORKING FOR THE MANUFACTURE OF DEVICES TO REGULATE THE HUME COEFFICIENT OF LOCALISED REALITY (the “Work”) without our authorisation which is copyrighted work in accordance with Title 17 of the ICSUT Intellectual Property Code.
We have found the unauthorised use of our Work being used at several Foundation and Global Occult Coalition production and distribution facilities.
Accordingly, we demand that you immediately cease the use of the Work and all productions derived from the Work, as well as all associated operations, such as material procurement and product distribution, and that you desist from this or any other infringement of our rights in the future, as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.
If your organisation does not cease the use of the aforementioned copyrighted material, a lawsuit will be commenced against your organisation.
Should we not receive an affirmative response from your organisation by the 21st day of JANUARY, 1991 indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, we shall consider taking any and all legal remedies available to rectify this situation.
Sincerely,
Prometheus Labs Legal