"A story about Blorb the wizard rat, who was just trying to help"
Item #: SCP-8293
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8293 is to be housed in a standard rodent cage. A rodent wheel is to be provided as a way for SCP-8293 to exercise. SCP-8293 is to be given a variety of books on Astronomy and Astropysics, more books will be available on request. SCP-8293's feeding dish is to be refilled as it nears empty, with a variety of cheese added every second day.
SCP-8293
Description: SCP-8293 appears to be a highly intelligent male albino specimen of Rattus norvegicus that is 31 cm head to tail.
Due to a thaumaturgical accident, SCP-8293 possesses a large quantity of innate thaumaturgical power (used to speak and to transform ordinary items into cheese), and a significantly higher intelligence.
Addendum 8293.1 Recovery Notes: On 17/3/2027, The Foundation intercepted an emergency services call in New York City claiming that they “saw a flash of light from their apartment next door” and that “a rat came out who talked to me about some science thing I couldn't understand.” A recovery squad was dispatched to the location where SCP-8293 was recovered. As it was willing to come into containment, force was not used. Nearby civilians were given a mild dose of Class-A amnestics.
Addendum 8293.2 Post-Containment Interview:
Interviewed: SCP-8293
Interviewer: Dr. Emily Scarborough
Purpose: To discover the history of SCP-8293
DATE: 17/3/2027
<Begin Log>
Dr. Scarborough walks into the interview room and takes a seat. SCP-8293 is standing on the table.
Dr. Scarborough: Hello, SCP-8293. Today, I'm going to ask you some questions about yourself. Is that alright with you?
SCP-8293: Of course, although I doubt you'd take no for an answer.
Dr. Scarborough: While I can't force you to talk, it would be in your best interests. First question: How did you gain these powers?
SCP-8293: Well, first of all, I was looking for a good, rich apartment to permanently borrow some food from. One of them looked promising: they had a full fridge and pantry. I waited in the vents until they fell asleep. But as it was getting dark, I saw a large circle on the ground, glowing as brightly as a supernova. I couldn't control myself and ran straight in, next thing I knew, I was talking to a nice old lady about the infinite expanse of the universe.
Dr. Scarborough: Interesting, I see you used your powers almost immediately. What was your life like before this incident?
SCP-8293: It wasn't too bad, though sometimes it was difficult to find food. The thing that pushed me through those hard times was a very nice, very poor, old man.
Dr. Scarborough: Please, tell me more about this man.
SCP-8293: There's a lot to say about him, so I guess I'll start at the beginning. I was a young rat and didn't quite know how to get food. I would approach people who had food and simply hope they would give me some. It didn't work very well; most people ran away from me. The only exception was the old man. When he saw how skinny I was, he immediately gave me a small piece of cheddar cheese. While it may have been the hunger, that was the best cheese I've ever had at the time.
SCP-8293: I came to him every night after that, and we would gaze at what few stars we could see through the light pollution. We really formed a bond; he even gave me the name Blorb. Once I got good at finding food, I started gathering extra for him. On the last night I saw him, he had tears in his eyes and handed me a piece of Parmigiano Reggiano. This time, it truly was the best cheese I've ever had. I never saw him again after that night. I really miss him sometimes.
Dr. Scarborough: Wow, he sounds like an incredible guy. I noticed you talked about stargazing. What was your favorite thing to look for?
SCP-8293: The moon, actually. I get that it can be annoying when stargazing, but it's just so bright and beautiful. In that sense, it's like cheese in a way.
SCP-8293 begins to laugh quietly to themselves before calming down
SCP-8293: What's your favorite celestial body?
Dr. Scarborough: Mine's also the moon, it's just so important for our daily lives. My previous project was actually about what to do if an important celestial body, like the moon, were to disappear for some reason. Sadly, funding was canceled because not enough planets or moons have been disappearing. It's really too bad, I liked that project.
SCP-8293: Huh, it sounds like you really need the moon to disappear.
Dr. Scarborough: I guess… Thanks for answering all my questions. I'm going to end the interview here. Goodbye.
SCP-8293: Goodbye.
<End Log>
Incident Log 8293.1: Seventeen minutes after refilling SCP-8293’s feeding dish, security cameras captured SCP-8293 performing an unknown thaumaturgical ritual. Over the course of 33 seconds, SCP-8293 transformed five pieces of rat food into a 3 cm3 block of sharp cheddar cheese. Due to the potential danger of SCP-8293 turning structural components into cheese, possibly destroying the site, a same-day interview has been scheduled.
Addendum 8293.3 Post Incident Interview:
Interviewed: SCP-8293
Interviewer: Dr. Emily Scarborough
Purpose: To understand the purpose of transforming objects into cheese, and to determine if stricter containment procedures are required.
DATE: 19/3/2027
<Begin Log>
Dr. Scarborough: Hello, SCP-8293. I'm going to get straight to the point this time. Why were you turning your food into cheese?
SCP-8293: I was… um.. missing cheese, yeah!
Dr. Scarborough: Really‽ You just wanted more cheese‽ You could have asked, you know.
SCP-8293: Geez, I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be that big of a deal.
Dr. Scarborough: You didn't think using magic in a place that's whole deal is stopping magic, would be a big deal?
SCP-8293: Look, I'm sorry, but you seem really mad at me. Is there a reason besides just the fact that I did something wrong?
Dr. Scarborough: Not quite. The issue is what happens after. Even though you might not be punished, I probably will. You see, when something 'bad' happens due to an anomaly I'm working on, I get reprimanded. If enough things go wrong under my supervision, I could get fired, and in this place, that means losing 11 years from my memory, and waking up from a 'coma.'
SCP-8293: Oh no! That sounds terrible!
Dr. Scarborough: It would be, so please don't do this again.
SCP-8293: I'll try not to, though I don't like making promises in case I can't keep them.
Dr. Scarborough: Good enough, I think I'll end this here, goodbye.
SCP-8293: Goodbye.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: To prevent further incidents, cheese has been added to SCP-8293’s feeding schedule.
Incident Log 8293.2
VIDEO LOG
DATE:23/3/2027
NOTE: Video log recovered from security cameras in SCP-8293's cell
[BEGIN LOG]
00:00: SCP-8293 begins to perform a thaumaturgic ritual, similar to the one used previously to turn objects into cheese.
11:00: SCP-8293 completes the ritual.
11:03: SCP-8293 does a "happy dance," showing excitement that the ritual succeeded.
Emergency services calls, saying that the moon has been turned into what appears to be cheese, were intercepted worldwide.
11:33: SCP-8293 moves its front left paw in a circular motion; it slowly shrinks the circle, ending with a small burst of light.
11:43: SCP-8293 draws a circle in the bedding of his chamber. Inside the circle, it creates a crude drawing of the moon. Further away in his cell, he draws another circle and taps it.
11:53: SCP-8293 squeaks out in excitement, appearing incredibly happy.
More emergency services calls, that now say the Moon has disappeared, are intercepted.
13:07: A 17 cm sphere of Parmigiano Reggiano appears in SCP-8293's cell.
13:37: SCP-8293 begins consuming the cheese.
[END LOG]
Re:Project Funding Acquired
From:
To:
CC:
Subject:
andrewlynch@scp.int
emmscarborough@scp.int
none
Project Funding Acquired
Hello Dr. Scarborough,
Due to the recent loss of the moon, your previous project has been bumped to top priority. I hope you are ready to work day and night, because otherwise, we may not survive this. I understand that more work beforehand would have helped you now, but to be honest, we did not expect the moon to be turned into cheese and eaten.
Andrew Lynch
Site Director
Secure. Contain. Protect.