SCP-8256 subsists on a diet of nuts, berries, grasses, and members of the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Item #: SCP-8256
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8256 is to be kept in a standard anomalous fauna containment chamber. A single low-cost desktop computer with a rubberized mouse and keyboard is to be included in the chamber, connected to an isolated network accessible only to assigned containment personnel.
Foundation agents embedded in the United States government are to be briefed on the behavior of SCP-8256, and remain vigilant for signs of other potential SCP-8256 instances.
Any personnel assigned to SCP-8256 are to undergo thorough background checks in order to prevent aggressive action from the anomaly.
Description: SCP-8256 is a large mammalian lifeform native to the North American continent similar to members of the Ursidae and Mustelidae families. SCP-8256 subsists on a diet of nuts, berries, grasses, and members of the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation.
SCP-8256 has several anomalous properties it utilizes to lure prey. Despite these properties interacting with specific complex systems of human society, testing has determined that SCP-8256's intelligence is comparable to most non-anomalous wildlife and it has no literacy, recognition or comprehension of technology or societal structures. It is currently believed that its exploitation of these systems is purely instinctual.
A former den of SCP-8256.
SCP-8256's luring process begins with it building a den, primarily created by enlarging pre-existing hollows in the roots of trees or small caves. In the process of doing so, SCP-8256 assigns the den an IP address via careful arrangement of grasses, dung and other nesting materials. It is unknown how these IP addresses are maintained in the absence of any technological materials, but they otherwise function identically to addresses and networks of non-anomalous origin.
Once the den is complete, SCP-8256 will travel to nearby human settlements and attempt to locate and gain access to any unsecured device with internet access. Upon gaining access, it will proceed to crudely manipulate the device using its mouth, chewing and prodding any input devices until it has created or logged into a social media account. It will then make several posts that contain a specialized memetic hazard that specifically affects current agents of the United States federal government. These posts trace back to the instance's created IP address as opposed to that of the device used to make them. SCP-8256 will then return to its den.
Several posts made by SCP-8256.
The memetic effect of posts created by SCP-8256 cause the targets to view the associated post and its origin as a threat to national security while also becoming blind to the abnormalities of such. In most cases, this results in the affected person or persons utilizing cybersecurity resources to track the IP address and travelling to the den, where they attempt to arrest and are subsequently eaten by SCP-8256.
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Complaint Form 8256-G4
Author: Dr. Bill Luce, Containment Lead for SCP-8256
Date: 6/22/2019
Hey, can we pawn this thing off to Wilson's? It's a nightmare to deal with.
Yeah, the conprocs don't look that bad. But what isn't included in the conprocs are all the stupid hoops we need to jump through in order to keep this thing healthy. It's like a goddamn koala, you can't just throw in a side of venison, it'll just sit there staring at it, totally useless. No, what we have to do twice a week is dress a pile of meat up in shades and a black suit, puppet it through joining a firearms discord, douse it in secretions released by the brains of law enforcement agents when they engage in entrapment (that we had to both discover AND figure out how to synthesize in less than a week so it didn't starve itself to death), and then jiggle it around so it looks lively enough to be appetizing.
And that most recent addition to the conprocs. We had to add that after Webber got assigned because he was scouted from Homeland Sec and it could, I don't know, smell it on him or something. Took forty minutes to get it to let him go, we were lucky as hell it had just eaten beforehand. This is an American site, do you have any idea what percentage of our staff at some point worked for the federal government? We've had to bring D-Class into the fold just to have enough viable manpower.
Seriously, give it to Wilson's. They're experts at this kind of thing, and I'm pretty sure way fewer of them are ex-FBI. Or at the very least bump 8256 up to Keter so we can get more funding.
- Bill
Response: No action deemed necessary.
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