- CODE
/*
BLANKSTYLE CSS
[2021 Wikidot Theme]
By Placeholder McD and HarryBlank
Based on:
Paperstack Theme by EstrellaYoshte
Penumbra Theme by EstrellaYoshte
*/
@import url('https://fonts.bunny.net/css2?family=Montserrat:ital,wght@0,800;1,800&display=swap');
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Item#: SCP-7953
Level3
Containment Class:
keter
Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}
Disruption Class:
ekhi
Risk Class:
caution
Sidebar of the SCP-7953-A homepage.
Special Containment Procedures: Efforts by the Site-43 Memetics & Countermemetics and Identity & Technocryptography Sections to shut down SCP-7953-A and -B are ongoing, but have not thus far been successful. Containment is therefore limited at this time to suppression of public knowledge of SCP-7953, facilitated by Foundation webcrawler I/O LORENZ.
Personnel may only view SCP-7953-B under approved testing conditions, and must be amnesticised immediately afterwards.
No further interaction with SCP-7953-A is permitted, other than actions aimed at neutralising it.
Description: SCP-7953 designates two related ventures operated by Vikander-Kneed Technical Media (GoI-5889).
SCP-7953-A is "Historical Rationalization Services", which offers the selective removal of unwanted memories from its customers for a variable fee. This service is marketed on its website as a 'proven therapeutic mental wellness treatment'. Customers who book an appointment via this website will be visited by a Vikander-Kneed employee at their residence within 48 hours; the time of the employee’s arrival is unrelated to the time specified on the appointment. The employee will ask the customer to specify the memories they wish to forget, and then proceed to remove them. The means by which this is achieved are unclear, and no customer has been able to report details of the procedure after the fact; however, it is apparently effective.
Known side effects of SCP-7953-A 'treatment' include frequent nosebleeds and narcoleptic episodes persisting for several weeks, as well as the removal of a small amount of memories beyond those requested. If these issues are noticed, employees will provide excuses that shift blame onto the customer, often citing a supposed failure to follow instructions provided prior to treatment..For instance, claiming that the equipment was miscalibrated because the customer failed to obey a prohibition on moving or breathing.
All SCP-7953-A customers are prompted to sign a 544-page legal waiver before the procedure commences. The Foundation has obtained a copy of this document; selected paragraphs are reproduced below.
30. Vikander-Kneed disavows liability for any and all side effects or regular effects resulting from the procedure, including but not limited to: mistargeted amnesia, nausea, abdominal bleeding, deafness, normalisation, normalization, recursive perception disorder, permanent and non-selective ability to hear all sounds originating from the state and/or nation of Georgia, unannounced substitution for sacrificial livestock, and cluster headaches. The Customer waives the right to seek any form of legal remedy for such occurrences, as well as the right to be informed of Vikander-Kneed's postal address should they wish to begin a futile attempt to submit the relevant paperwork to do so.
234. The Customer hereby acknowledges that Vikander-Kneed is not required to inform them of relevant regulatory compliance information, should any exist, and that no further representations or warranties of said will be presented, and that any reliance on said is strictly at the Customer's own risk, and that the presented information shall not be construed in any way whatsoever, including but not limited to the effect thereof, or therefore, or thereby, not to be found under any circumstances to exceed the scope of the aforementioned provisions, and furthermore that any and all expressed or implied representations or warranties are declared null and void, and void and null the for by to or with this and as under unless expressly stated otherwise.
815. Vikander-Kneed acquires the exclusive rights in perpetuity to any Content or Media obtained during the procedure, and may freely publish, transform or otherwise use such material for commercial, non-commercial, educational, occult, or other purposes as it sees fit. The Customer acknowledges that any attempt to regain said rights at any point in the future may leave them liable to employment by Vikander-Kneed.
Memories 'removed' by SCP-7953-A are not in fact erased, but are instead transferred by unknown means to SCP-7953-B.
SCP-7953-B is "The Real Content Zone", a freely-accessible online video streaming service. The site features the VKTM logo prominently in the header, accompanied by the slogan "The Internet Is The Home Of The Better Tommorrow™ [sic] Of Future Media Content".
All videos on the site are uploaded by Vikander-Kneed. Roughly 10% of them are original content produced by VKTM — usually excerpts from their other productions, but sometimes entirely original (and largely incoherent) material. The remainder of the content consists of footage corresponding to memories removed by Historical Rationalization Services, filmed in first person from the perspective of the customer. Often, these videos are altered to include events and other modifications incongruous with the original material (see below).
If a person watches any portion of any video on SCP-7953-B, they will come to believe that they personally experienced the events depicted therein; standard amnestics have proven sufficient to reverse this effect. They will also experience any memetic effects otherwise associated with the video, as is common with content originating from VKTM itself.
Videos on SCP-7953-B typically have 'clickbait'-style titles and thumbnails, and vary in length from a few seconds to over three hundred hours. They are invariably accompanied by pre-roll and mid-roll video advertising, lasting in total roughly 40% of the content's runtime. No representatives of the companies whose commercials have appeared on SCP-7953-B have ever reported buying ad time there, or indeed possessing any knowledge at all of Vikander-Kneed Technical Media.
Examples of videos on SCP-7953-B are provided below, with civilian names redacted where applicable; in all cases, "the subject" refers to the individual whose perspective is seen.
Title
Runtime
Description
Healing Music Stress Relief 🌍 Stop Anxiety
33:45
Footage from a karaoke night at a bar. None of the songs are performed in tune, and all persons involved appear heavily intoxicated. Backing tracks become increasingly distorted to the point of unrecognisability. The final performer is the subject; during their rendition of an unidentifiable song, a large number of empty glasses are thrown at them from the audience, many of them shattering on impact. Video ends when the subject appears to fall unconscious roughly two minutes into the song.
Real Person Reacts to World's Most Patriotic Movie
1:15:56
Footage of the subject viewing and remarking upon several segments of American American (SCP-6359), a film produced by TotleighSoft and Vikander-Kneed about an American attempting to force elements of U.S. culture on other nations. Subject becomes increasingly confused and agitated; video ends abruptly midway through a long, expletive-laden diatribe directed at both the film and the United States in general, during which the video gradually gains a deep red tint. As the subject provided no identifying information at any point in the footage, the Foundation has thus far failed to locate them, seize their copy of SCP-6359, or indeed confirm their existence.
COOKING WITH LEFTOVERS - Top 34 Kitchen Tips
5:40
Footage of the subject inadvertently starting a grease fire in the kitchen of a McDonald's. The subject attempts to locate the fire extinguisher, but finds it replaced by a middle-aged woman in a pink blouse, who begins to speak in a cheerful voice. Her commentary consists of a live narration of the unfolding events, interspersed with unfavourable comments about the subject (identified as █████ █████████), his failure to resolve the situation, and his general life choices. The subject's coworker locates another extinguisher, and immediately throws it into the fire before placing their own head in the burning oil. The middle-aged woman begins to interact with an unseen entity whose voice resembles an obnoxiously enthusiastic radio host, and they continue their running commentary together. The subject attempts to leave the building as the fire begins to spread, but is restrained by several customers with no facial features who loudly accost him for providing poor service. The subject apologises profusely before leaving the building, and watches from the parking lot as it is engulfed in flames. All other individuals remain inside, including the middle-aged woman and the radio host; they are still audible, and begin to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of cooking food using a burning building.
BEST FAILS OF 2018 | COMPILATION
11:25:15
Unmodified and unedited footage of a wedding ceremony and reception, from the perspective of the bride. The groom has been identified as █████ ████, who as of 2023 possesses a felony conviction in the state of Pennsylvania for domestic abuse.
EXCLUSIVE Look at VKTM's New Studio!
1:38:09
Continuous footage of a humanoid figure wearing a pinstripe suit and motorcycle helmet walking in circles around an otherwise-empty stage. Lighting changes colour at random intervals, and metallic banging noises of unknown origin are audible throughout. After 58 minutes, the lighting rig collapses on top of the figure and shatters its visor. The figure continues walking in the same fashion for the remainder of the video, apparently unimpeded; its face is never visible, but blood can be seen dripping from the helmet.
Dumb guy tries to steal company secrets, regrets it IMMEDIATELY
0:46
A brief clip of Junior Researcher David Hamilton buying groceries; see Addendum 1.
Addendum 1, Experiment and Correspondence Log: In October 2023, the Site-43 Memetics & Countermemetics Section attempted to determine the nature of SCP-7953-A's amnesticisation procedure. Junior Researcher David Hamilton was moved to a secure off-Site location and directed to sign up for one session of Historical Rationalization Services 'treatment'. He was instructed to request the removal of an unremarkable memory involving no classified information.
A VKTM employee, which did not identify itself, manifested in Hamilton's room fourteen hours after booking, performed the procedure, and subsequently demanifested. Neither Hamilton nor any of the observing researchers have been able to recall any details of the events that took place during the procedure (though Hamilton did report general joint pain for several days afterward), and all security footage of this time period was found replaced with the following still image:
Image that overwrote all footage of SCP-7953-A recording. Notable flickering effects appeared periodically, and stock muzak was audible throughout.
A customer support email address was later found on SCP-7953-A's website, and Hamilton received approval to begin correspondence with it:
To: VKTM Customer Support
From: Junior Researcher David Hamilton
Subject: Recent appointment
Hello,
I recently booked an appointment with Historical Rationalization Services. The treatment was initially a success, but it seems that the footage of the memories you removed ended up being reuploaded to The Real Content Zone, which your company apparently also owns? Watching the video completely reversed the treatment and returned the memories to me, which is not what I was hoping for.
Can I ask how and why this happened?
Thanks,
David Hamilton
To: Junior Researcher David Hamilton
From: VKTM Customer Support
Subject: Re: Recent appointment
Mr. Hamilton,
Thanks for your inquiry. The Real Content Zone™ is Vikander-Kneed's foray into online video streaming, aiming to provide authentic and engaging Media that connects deeply with our viewers. To achieve this, we acquire our Content from a wide variety of sources all across our corporate umbra.
We're sorry to hear that your initial appointment with Historical Rationalization Services™ was unsatisfactory. We understand that your memories are important to you, and we want to make sure they're being used as they should be. We'd be happy to provide you with a free compensation voucher for up to $55 off any future VKTM purchases (terms and conditions apply, as I'm sure you're aware) — just grab a spare kidney and drop by our Lansing office.The Foundation has found no evidence of any VKTM operations occurring in the city of Lansing, Michigan. to pick it up. Don't worry about a voucher code, we know who you are!
Hope this helps,
Macy
After several subsequent emails from Hamilton were all ignored, M&C Chair Dr. Lillian Lillihammer decided to contact VKTM's public relations office directly:
To: Marianne MacPhaerson
From: Dr. Lillian Lillihammer
Subject: Historical Rationalization Services
Mari,
I have questions about this new custom-blend bullshit operation of yours. So far as I can tell, you're: 1) shilling a 'mental wellness remedy' which involves you actively sucking the life out of people, 2) repackaging the results into badly-edited and/or nonsensical garbage, 3) maliciously manipulating the minds of anyone who watches said garbage, 4) finding advertisers that are inexplicably willing to pay for cheap clicks on it, and 5) covering your ass on the whole thing behind a pile of meaningless legalese.
Do you think you're being original?
Unkind regards,
Lillian
To: Dr. Lillian Lillihammer
From: Marianne MacPhaerson
Subject: Re: Historical Rationalization Services
Hi Lily,
We're so pleased to learn you're taking an interest in our latest ventures! We at Vikander-Kneed love to hear from fans of our Media — our customers' input is always important in informing the Content we produce. That's why we believe that asking about 'originality' isn't the best way to view our contributions to the cultural landscape. Instead, we ask: Are we capturing as much attention as possible? Are we transforming people's ideas to encourage higher viewership? Are we making sure that every user hears and understands our messages, no matter how much they ask us to stop?
We want to make sure that we're doing everything we can to communicate ideas as clearly and deeply as possible, and there's no better way to do that than by drawing on real experiences! Time and attention are valuable in this day and age, and we believe in building a platform where we can broker those commodities efficiently and effectively with all our stakeholders. If you're interested in getting involved with this new project, just let us know — we'd be more than excited to have you on board!
The internet is the home of the Better Tommorrow™ of future Media Content,
Marianne MacPhaerson
Vikander-Kneed Public Outreach
P.S. If this is about your friend, could you ask him to give us something more interesting next time? A live commentary would be fine, or even just a small blood sacrifice.
To: Marianne MacPhaerson
From: Dr. Lillian Lillihammer
Subject: Re: Historical Rationalization Services
Mari,
Usually when companies say they're looking for customer input, they just put out a survey. And the only idea you're communicating is "most people's lives are so boring, we have to stuff them full of horrifying bullshit to be remotely worth watching". Should I interpret this as the message you're trying to send everyone?
-Lillian
P.S. No.
Subsequent to this exchange, a comments section was added to all videos on SCP-7953-B. A representative sample of these comments from a variety of videos is included below:
This happened to me once. Advice for if it happens to anyone else: it's usually easiest to just throw the viscera in a river or something afterwards.
██████ im going to kill you i stg, why the FUCK DID YOU FILM ME DOING THIS
take this down jesus christ
This is like weird ass deja vu or something, like I'm sure I remember this happening to me but I KNOW it didn't cause I've still got both arms
I'm pretty sure I've got both arms
Idk what the fuck is real anymore
What is this garbage? This is just a guy getting welded to a completely ordinary electricity pylon. Can't believe this content farm bullshit is getting views and engagement.
loved this video, gave me anaphylaxis 👍 +1
To: Dr. Lillian Lillihammer
From: Marianne MacPhaerson
Subject: Re: Historical Rationalization Services
Lily,
Thank you so much for your feedback! We threw it full-force at our product team, and even before he'd recovered from the injury he pushed out a brand new update to the site incorporating your advice. This will be a fresh chapter in the story of the Real Content Zone™, one which will enable us to transform fully-formed concepts into Media faster than ever before!
Marianne MacPhaerson
Vikander-Kneed Public Outreach
To: Marianne MacPhaerson
From: Dr. Lillian Lillihammer
Subject: Re: Historical Rationalization Services
No.
No further communications from VKTM on this matter have been received. In addition to its usual content, SCP-7953-B now features videos of unidentified subjects (presumed, but not confirmed, to be VKTM employees) responding to comments on previous videos, frequently launching insults or explicit threats.e.g. advising the recipient to "go jump in a lake", stating their home address, and then providing exhaustive driving and public transit directions from said address to several nearby freshwater lakes, before extolling the benefits of manmade water pollution. against individuals who have left negative feedback.
