It wasn't me who pissed in those balloons. And I don't think it was any of you either. (1.4k words)
Item#: 7763
Level4
Containment Class:
euclid
Secondary Class:
{$secondary-class}
Disruption Class:
vlam
Risk Class:
caution
Special Containment Procedures:
The FSWBF (Foundation Summer Water-Balloon Fight) has been cancelled indefinitely until a method of counteracting SCP-7763 is discovered.
Description:
SCP-7763 is an anomalous event associated with the annual FSWBF. During the event, any members not working as part of a team will suddenly have all of their balloons filled with urine.
SCP-7763 was initially discovered following an incident during the third annual FSWBF. A copy of Gary Lannan's disciplinary report can be found below.
Disciplinary Report B-X29384 13/7/2012
Following multiple witness accounts, Researcher Gary Lannan has had his contract terminated due to inappropriate conduct during extracurricular activities. Witness testimonies describe the following events:
- The FSWBF began as usual, with multiple small teams forming.
- Researcher Lannan was the sole member not on any team.
- About 5 minutes into the activity, Researcher Lannan began throwing balloons filled with urine.
- Witnesses quickly realised what was happening and confronted Researcher Lannan, who acted oblivious.
- The activity ended early and multiple witnesses filed HR reports against Researcher Lannan.
Attached is a character profile of Researcher Lannan produced by his co-workers to aid in this investigation.
Researcher Gary Lannan.
Researcher Lannan was initially hired by the Foundation in June of 2009, immediately after his graduation from The University of Hull studying applied biomedical science. Prior to today, no reports have been filed against Researcher Lannan for inappropriate conduct. Despite this, one member of Foundation faculty, who will remain anonymous for her own protection, has informed HR of previous unwanted romantic attention she received from Lannan during his first year of employment. This attention reportedly ceased upon confrontation.
Colleagues describe Lannan as up-front but calm. He is generally low-energy and work focused, however is known to loosen up outside of work time. His superiors have described him as an ideal employee. No individuals interviewed have identified any changes in these behaviours leading up to the incident.
Medically, Lannan is currently on anti-depressants following a severe depressive episode and a series of panic attacks in his final year of university. He has since received therapy and is considered stable by Foundation psychiatrists.
Following the initial incident and reports made, an investigation was opened regarding Researcher Lannan's conduct. Whilst this investigation was underway, multiple members of staff responsible for the initial reports confronted Researcher Lannan. A transcript of the event has been attached below.
<Begin Log>
<Two individuals who had balloons directly thrown at them during the incident, Researcher Davids and Senior Researcher Plum, enter the cafeteria alongside Agent Bistoff. Bistoff tells all other members of Foundation personnel to leave the room, multiple of whom later attested they felt intimidated into doing so. Once the room has emptied, the group approach Researcher Lannan, who is eating alone at a table in the corner of the room.>
Bistoff: Still don't feel like owning up?
<Lannan looks up at the group, startled.>
Lannan: What do you guys want?
<Bistoff sits down at the table. Davids and Plum continue to stand behind him staring at Lannan.>
Bistoff: You know why we're here. You're fucking disgusting, Gary.
Lannan: I didn't-
Bistoff: You didn't do it? Tell that to these two then. Look them in the eyes and tell them you didn't do it.
<Lannan looks up at the two before putting his head into his hands.>
Bistoff: You fucking can't, can you? Because you'd be lying.
<Lannan begins crying.>
Lannan: It wasn't-
Bistoff: It wasn't what? You're fucking disgusting, Gary. We thought you were our friend. And you had to ruin it all and do this. You're a pervert.
Lannan: Leave-
Bistoff: Leave? Is that what you'd like?
Lannan: Please-
<Bistoff looks up at the others who nod at him, slightly shaken.>
Bistoff: Fine then. We're leaving. If I were you I'd turn myself in. I always knew you were a fucking weirdo.
<Bistoff stands up and the group walk away, Bistoff chuckling. Lannan remains at the table and begins crying louder once the group leave.>
<End Log>
Following this, Agent Bistoff, Researcher Davids and Senior Researcher Plum were reprimanded for intimidation. Researcher Lannan was then ordered to remain inside of his quarters and avoid all contact with his colleagues until this investigation concluded.
At this point in the investigation, no evidence of Researcher Lannan tampering with his water balloons was found. Testing on the urine at the scene revealed it originated from a number of different animals. However, multiple witnesses suddenly came forward, including one individual directly affected by the incident, claiming they had seen Researcher Lannan tampering with his balloons. When asked why they did not intervene, the general consensus was all witnesses did not think much of it at the time and did not feel the need to intervene. Agent Bistoff grew aggressive when asked about this and was promptly removed from the interview. No disciplinary action was deemed necessary.
Despite a lack of physical evidence, the sheer number of witnesses was deemed enough proof for the investigation to remain open, with a new focus on validating these eyewitness testimonies.
As the investigation's focus shifted, Researcher Lannan made an unofficial report against Agent Bistoff, who Lannan suspected had sent him a threatening email on a burner account. No action has been taken against Agent Bistoff due to a lack of evidence leading back to him. The email has been attached below.
To: tni.pcs|49nannal.g#tni.pcs|49nannal.g
From: moc.liamtoh|yragdiduoytahwwonki#moc.liamtoh|yragdiduoytahwwonki
Subject: Freak.
We all know what you did Gary. You can hide away in your room all you want. We know.
And we know this is because of Jess. She didn't choose you. You should've left it there. But no, you went and pulled this. Because you're sad. You're a sad little pervert. You're a sad little pervert who throws a tantrum when he doesn't get his own way.
You can't get out of your room anymore. But I have clearance to get in yours.
Confess.
Go fuck yourself.
Two days after focus of the investigation shifted, Researcher Lannan was found in his quarters unresponsive. He was then transported to the on-site medical wing, where he was treated and stabilized. A note was found in his quarters, which has been attached below.
Dear Colleagues,
I'm sorry for what happened. Although I didn't do it, I am sorry that it happened regardless. To all of you, I want you to know this decision was not your fault. I do not blame any of you for this.
I did not tamper with the water balloons. I don't know who or what did but it wasn't me. I feel gross just thinking about it. I'm not a pervert. I'm not a creep. But I feel like one now. I've spent hours in the shower but I still feel dirty. It wasn't me who pissed in those balloons. And I don't think it was any of you either.
I know nobody will believe me, but I didn't do it. I don't know why it happened or how but it wasn't me.
But that doesn't matter. I'm at my wits end. Everyone hates me. I'm just trapped in this room until you decide what to do with me. Thought I might as well save you the trouble.
Goodbye.
The decision has been made not to inform the HR committee of this incident in order to prevent bias.
After considering all of the above information, the HR department concluded its investigation with no additional evidence. Based upon witness testimonies and the lack of evidence to the contrary, it has been decided this incident warrants disciplinary action.
Researcher Lannan has shown a clear unwillingness to accept responsibility for his actions and has insistently played the victim. For this reason, it has been determined immediate termination of his contract and amnesticisation is necessary. This is to be enacted immediately following his discharge from the on-site medical ward.
Update: 28/6/2013
During this year's annual summer water-balloon fight, 3 individuals were not on any team. During the event, all 3 individuals' water balloons suddenly contained urine. Due to the event's association with an anomaly, it has been cancelled indefinitely.
No punishments have been deemed necessary for staff involved in Researcher Lannan's investigation due to the length of time since the incident and the circumstances surrounding the accusations made.
Investigation into methods to reinstate Researcher Lannan have failed, and he has instead been awarded an honorary doctorate for his hardship. Researcher Lannan has not been informed of this to ensure protection of the Veil.